The Chop Shop Horror Show Strikes Again

Want a good way to ring in the New Year? Kent Gowran has splattered a new story at The Chop Shop Horror Show. This time, it’s “Daddy’s Boy” by Ray Banks, and as always, it’s a killer. Hurry on over, because it’s only there for a limited time.

And, speaking of The Chop Shop Horror Show, surely there’s an appropriate category that will allow it to be nominated for a Stoker Award. Some of the best stories of the year have debuted there.

Pod of Horror #49

I’m a little late on this, but Pod of Horror #49 is on-line and ready for download. You can hear references to the Kelly Laymon/Cemetery Dance non-controversy and hear an interview with Vampire Zero author David Wellington. Check it out here.

Oh, and Mark and Nanci mention on the podcast that Nanci has only one fan. Make that two.

Jake's Wake

Writing tends to be a solitary endeavor, done in seclusion, often in the hours when everyone else is asleep, with little outside input. There are a few exceptions to this, and the most prominent in the horror genre was the pairing of John Skipp and Craig Spector, who combined to produce many of the 80s best horror stories. That collaboration dissolved a long time ago, and now Skipp has found a new partner in fear, rising author Cody Goodfellow. Judging by the evidence of their first mass market publication, Jake’s Wake, out now from Leisure, Skipp and Good fellow may do for the 21st century what Skipp and Spector did for the Reagan era.

I’m not giving away anything to reveal the protagonist of Jake’s Wake, evangelist Jake Connaway, is dead by the end of the epilogue. Jake is the embodiment of the excesses of televangelism, doing blow, drinking, and chasing skirts. This last hobby leads to his dénouement, and the book proper begins with a gathering of the women in his life (and their companions) to sort out the details of his legacy. The party is interrupted by an unexpected guest: Jake has returned from the dead, and is in a bad mood and ready to settle scores.

The story that follows is filled with gonzo violence and gore. Taking place in its entirety on the night of Jake’s resurrection, it rushes forward to a bloody and somewhat unexpected conclusion, when the story behind Jake’s return is partially revealed. Suffice it to say, any Skipp and Spector fans will be very happy with this.

I’ve griped about the length of books today so many times I’m starting to realize it’s my problem instead of the writers, but I do feel Jake’s Wake could have been shortened considerably. There is a Mad Max-esque sequence early in the second half that is entertaining, but does little to advance the story, and mostly serves as a distraction. But that is my only quibble, and I heartily recommend the book. It is an exciting, fast read.

The Hive

First of all, I’d like to say I know I have no one to blame but myself for this. I have a strong weakness for cheesy movies, and when you commit to watching something like The Hive, you don’t really expect great cinema. I watched it anyway.

According to the boxcover, the plot was about humans struggling against ants in the forests of Brazil. Ants creep my wife out, so we popped it in. We immediately received our first surprise. Brazil is in Southeast Asia! I really never knew that.

In the tiny, southeast Asian island country of Brazil, we see a bright light fall to earth, and soon the Brazilians are being overrun with ants and eaten, starting with a woman and her infant. Kudos to the makers of the film for showing a baby getting devoured, as most wouldn’t go there. Brazil is in grave danger, so a company is hired to stop the ant hordes. The name of this company is….wait for it…Thorax. Thorax is headed by a guy who used to be a professor studying ants, but discovered they are dangerous, and devoted the rest of his career to fighting them, which he does very effectively, since he’s invented a raygun which fires anti-ant chemicals. Seriously. Thorax has a dashing crew of ant-fighters, the only recognizable one being Tom Wopat, who used to be a Duke on the Dukes of Hazzard. They spring into battle with the valiant cry, “Let’s liquefy some endoskeletons!” Seriously. (Although ants don’t actually have endoskeletons, they have exoskeletons. They don’t swarm, either, though all the experts in the movie claim they do.) Meanwhile the head of the team supplies the romantic subplot, due to his romance with a female scientist who is something of a bug appeaser. The actress playing her also cannot keep her freaking head still, and bobs it until you want to scream.

Anyway, the Thorax crew launches a brilliant counter-assault against the mass of ants, which consists of blasting them with their anti-ant rayguns. This has limited success, and Tom Wopat ends up with an ant in his ear. There are indications the ant is controlling him, but this never makes any sense, since Wopat becomes the most aggressively antagonistic member of the team, which would seem to be against the ants’ best interest. Maybe the ear-ant was a rogue. Whatever. The counter-attack seems to be a success, and the team receives the thanks of the grateful Brazilians, in their thick Thai accents.

Before you can say “darn those crazy ants”, the ants return. And the team leader and his head-bobbing honey go to a small island in the Brazilian archipelago to rescue 50 natives trapped by the ants. Because these island dwellers don’t have any boats of their own. Bobbing head discovers the ants have become more intelligent due to the compound Thorax has been blasting them with, and soon they are negotiating with the collective ants, who want the island for their own. Leaving a Brazilian child behind as hostage, the duo, after some quick love-making, return to the Brazilian Prime Minister and lay out the offer.

“We do not negotiate with ANTS!” The PM blusters.

“How about offering them half the island?”

“OK,” says the PM.

The twosome return to the island, with an increasingly ear-ant deranged Tom Wopat, and quickly hash out a deal. It’s all for nought, as Wopat has a bomb strapped to his chest. The bomb goes off, which kills many, many ants, and reveals the source of all the trouble was a glowing alien ant that organized the earth ants. This completely negates the previous explanation, but hey.

This is a movie for people who like terrible CGI, laughable dialogue, and piss-poor acting.

People like me.

The Summoning

Bentley Little, as I’ve said before, is a writer whose books I always enjoy, but has never written anything that knocked me out. To use a sports metaphor, he’s the dependable singles hitter who doesn’t homer (or strikeout) the way the sluggers do.

One of the Little titles I’ve always missed is his debut, The Summoning. It won a Stoker award, but Little switched publishers and the PBO was a little hard to find, and once I had it, since it is the longest of Little’s books I have seen, it got pushed back in the stack. Now that I’ve finally gotten around to it, I have to revise my impression of Little, because I thought this was a home run.

The vampire is the most durable trope of horror fiction, and I’ve always felt that eventually, every horror writer has to take a shot at their own interpretation. This is Little’s version, and he does a much better job than most. The story is set in the fictitious Rio Verde, Arizona, and the isolation and loneliness of the desert setting work very well in developing the sense of dread and fear needed in this type of story. Jaded though I am, a few of the scenes gave me a rare sense of unease.

Rather than the traditional western image of the vampire, in The Summoning, Chinese legend is used. Instead of garlic and crosses, this vampire is warded off by jade and willow, and in addition to feeding off humans, drawn the fluid (all fluids, not just blood) from animals and even plants. There are a number of grisly yet effective scenes, such as when the town sheriff discovers all the bodies at the cemetery have been dug up in order for the vampire to get at their bone marrow. Fortunately for the locals, the Chinese family who owns a local restaurant knows a little about Chinese mythology and is able to offer help.

A subplot involves religious hysteria/vampiric influence that is as big a menace to the town as the vampire itself, which is a familiar motif in Little’s work. It also plays well in this book.

One of the refreshing things about the story was how quickly everyone comes around to the idea their problems are the work of a vampire. Usually, half of one of these novels consists of the main characters coming to grips with the idea of the supernatural, so we’re spared that here.

If you haven’t read anything by Bentley Little, this is a good place to start. If you have read his work but not this one, you should check it out.

99 Coffins

99 Coffins is the middle book in Wellington’s ongoing vampire trilogy, following 13 Bullets. It picks up a few months after the events of the first book.

Laura Caxton, the young State Trooper in the first book, is back on the job with a nice promotion after her actions in the first book. She has also become something of a minor celebrity, since a movie has been made of her previous exploits. Her mentor/partner/antagonist from the first book, Jameson Arkeley, has been forced into retirement due to the injuries he suffered in ending the previous vampire threat. He is still the custodian of the body of the oldest living vampire, Justinia Malvern.

With Arkeley out of commission, Laura is seen as the prime expert on all matters vampiric, so when a college archeological team makes a gruesome discovery at the site of the Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, she is called in. They have discovered 99 coffins with the bones of vampires – and the shattered remains of a 100th coffin. There is an obvious likelihood that there is a new vampire on the loose. Laura has to turn to the manipulative Malvern for assistance – with a price – to stop the outbreak of a new vampire epidemic.

The book is fast-paced, and steadily accelerates until the climax, a pitched battle between outmanned cops and National Guardsmen, and a vampire army. As with the previous novel, Laura is a very appealing character, with strengths and flaws, and you can’t help but feel involved in her quest. There is an unexpected twist near the end that left me eager for the third novel in the trilogy.

Wellington’s version of the vampire legend has soon fascinating variations. His vampires are almost animalistic, and nearly unstoppable if they have fed. In a unique twist, vampires I this universe need progressively more blood to remain mobile, and older vampires become near invalids, confined to their coffins. They can only be killed by the total destruction of their hearts.

If you are interested in this book, you should really read 13 Bullets first. 99 Coffins can be read as a stand-alone, but your enjoyment will be higher if you read them in sequence. I can’t recommend these books highly enough.

The author, David Wellington, has followed an unusual path to success. His earlier books, including the zombie trilogy Monster Island, Monster Nation, and Monster Planet were first offered as serialized free downloads through his website. This is normally seen as a poor way to build a readership (most people regard free things as worth what they paid for them), but it has paid of for him. Visit his website at http://www.brokentype.com/davidwellington/.

Boogeyman 2

I’ll have to admit, the original Boogeyman was a guilty pleasure of mine. Despite a fairly ridiculous setup (the monster in your closet is rule, and it’s going to get you), it did tap into an atavistic childhood fear, and deserved some credit for not making the mistake of trying to explain where the title creature came from, since anyone explanation would disappoint. Still, it took me a while to get around to the sequel.

None of the actors from the original movie carry over to the sequel (although a newspaper clipping explains the fate of the lead). In the new flick, and eight year old girl and her eleven year old brother witness their parents slaughter at the hands of the Boogeyman. That’ll scar ya. And indeed it does, as ten years later both young adults are still having problems with night terrors. The brother has just completed a three month stint in a “fear clinic” run by Gabrielle from the old Xena series. It seems to work well for him, so sis signs up, too, ignoring the fact that Gabrielle’s boss is Jigsaw (Tobin Bell). Had she watched the Saw movies, she would have thought twice about committing herself. The other patients are young people (the clinic specializes in only the most attractive demographic) with fears of the dark, germs, etc.

The other patients are pretty unsympathetic to the young lady’s fear of the boogeyman (although Tobin Bell gets to deliver the great line “It’s called boogeyphobia” which may me break out laughing. Because I thought boogeyphobia was fear of K. C. & the Sunshine Band.). They soon get theirs when everyone finds themselves locked into the facility, and chased by the boogeyman, who preys on their individual fears. Not a great movie, but entertaining enough in its own way.

SPOILER ALERT

I didn’t really understand changing the menace faced to a non-supernatural cause. In that case, why make it a sequel to the supernatural-creature original? Also, if the boogeyman has otherworldly powers, it is easier to accept the things he does to torment the patients. When it turns out he is a fairly scrawny kid, you can’t believe he pulled it off.